The Only Time Bigger Might Not Be Better In Texas

As spring shyly makes its way to the Great State, it's time to start dreaming about warmer weather and summertime baby! What's one quintessential way Texans spend their summers? Tubing the rivers of course!

No matter which river you choose to tube it seems you're going to have to decide what you're going to tube in sooner than later. Is the traditional inflated inner tube tire becoming a thing of the past?

Just a few years ago large inflatable unicorns designed for two in the pool found their way into lakes and bays. Next came the inflatable flamingo for four which sold out before the end of its first season. Every summer more and more of these massive monstrosities have been jumping ship from the great lakes and salty seas and drifting into our cool river waters.

Flashy and fun, these floats are now big enough to hold a small army, a family reunion and an entire entourage of bride's maids all in one float.

Unfortunately for the other thousands of self proclaimed and proud river rats, the "purists" in tubes, who have coincidentally decided to float on the same day your small island did, your giant inflatable is a giant pain in the butt.

Your super- sized Pizza Pie roomy enough to seat eight people, each on their own individual 'slice',

Giant Float Four youtube

 takes up almost the entire width of the river making it impossible to pass. This causes major traffic jams, ( well more traffic jams in the river than before these floats made their way to the scene) confusion, ( well more confusion than for those who chose to bring both wine and bourbon on the river) and angry river rats ( and river rats are never angry). The same can be said for the King Triton, The Swiss Cheese, The Colosseum and the Pirate Island. I wasn't kidding when I said an entire island of air. You also have the steering issues, the fact that they rupture easily, coupled with the fact that you can't tackle a rapid on a giant peacock with any kind of dignity (okay not that anyone ever did on an inner tube), and they cost hundreds of dollars.

Still, have you seen the new Super Swan? It's so pretty and it seats ten easily. It will sell out FAST.

Decisions, decisions.

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