Suspicious Email? Gee…Let Me Think About This

So, I'm checking one of my email accounts, and I see one with the subject line: "From Colonel Nick Logan."

"Hmm...," I think to myself. "I don't know anybody named 'Colonel Nick Logan.' I have a brother who retired from the California Army National Guard years ago as a Colonel, but that's not his name. I know a few people named 'Nick,' but none of them are in the military, to my knowledge. And I don't believe I know anybody whose last name is 'Logan.' Ahh...a mystery!" Now, it took much longer to write that than it did to think it, but I digress. So, my curiosity piqued (and my Crap Detector a-tinglin'), I opened the email on my iPhone ('cause it's harder to hack into those than a computer; even I know that). And here, just as it was in my email inbox, is what the mysterious missive said:

Logan Nick

To

Today at 7:19 AM

From Colonel Nick Logan

US military Personnel.

Afghanistan Base 3.

 

How are you my good friend ? My name is Nick Logan from Toledo, Ohio. I work for US Government as a military Colonel presently here in Afghanistan for peace keeping. I need your help immediately despite we have not met but i have a confident that you can help me. Last Night we caught one of the Taliban who sponsors weapon for crisis here and he also responsible for the problem that is going on here in Afghanistan.

 

He was caught and we recover $12Million dollars in his house.And we took the money to the Afghanistan Prime Minister,he ask us to share the money within our superiors. My own share of the money is $7.5M Dollars. And i want to trust you so that i can send the fund out from here because is not safe staying with me here because of the crisis.

 

The bank where we are is not working because of the crisis here and if you are watching CNN you will understand what i mean. Can i trust you? If you can help me to receive the money I will give you 20% of the total amount. Can i trust you? Please get back to me immediately.

 

Regards

 

Col. Nick Logan.

Now, I must admit, I briefly thought about replying, just to see what might happen. Of course, I would NOT reveal any personal information. My second tip-off (the first being that this got into my inbox in the first place) was the  horrible grammar/spelling/punctuation/writing "style" of the author. Their English isn't just 'broken' in this, it's destroyed. This is obviously a fine example of 'phishing,' and a royal scam of the first order.

.What REALLY galls me is the fact this former "Nigerian Prince-turned-US Afghan Freedom Fighter" actually has the nerve to pose as a member of the US military! Sadly, I'm sure if this ripoff artist sends enough of these out (with the "To" line conveniently left blank), he/she is sure to find at least one of those people P.T. Barnum famously said were born every minute; someone who will blindly give out their personal bank account information, only to end up on the evening news. crying about how they "just wanted to show their support for the troops," and end up with a zero bank balance, and probably a ruined credit profile as well. Unfortunately, it is often the case that the people falling for this type of email scam have no more education in the English language than the fuzzy little foreigner banging away on a stolen laptop in some smelly Internet cafe` in God-knows-where-istan, hoping to swindle some well-meaning, low-information, troop-supporting American citizen.

Friends, the old saying still holds true: "If it sounds too good to be true, it is."