Five Foods You Shouldn’t Eat & Then Wear a Face Mask

Now that the city has amended its emergency directives to mandate face covering be worn outside the home, this means if you plan on going on a supply run or into any essential business, you’ll need to have a mask, bandana, scarf, or similar nose and mouth cover. Some people have been cooperating for a while, others reluctant. For those late to the cover me party, we’re going to give you a heads up that you might want to reconsider some eating habits. Simply put, you are no longer offending the nostrils of others, but effectively serving up your own nostrils to your trapped breath.

Funions

Yeah they’re crunchy and delicious, buuuut the lingering fragrance omitting from your oral orifice will be enough to rip that mask off and risk receiving that – ouch – $1,000 fine.

Sushi

So good and so good for you. Unless the trail of raw fish has nowhere to go but back up your own nose. Some may find this perfectly acceptable. Say a penguin, a seal, or even your fluffy pussycat, but most human beings will experience a stomach turn with extended exposure to this briny scent. Don’t do it! You hurl from this one, and you’ll be turned off to this wonderful delicacy for a looong time. Kind of like if you ever barf Ouzo.

Garlic

A real flavor enhancer, right? Not so much when the odor swirls within the confines of your facial adornment.

Onions

Ok, we’re slightly redundant (see Funions), but they are often part of the extras on a burger that despite being a great indulgence, can be the hidden motivator to a burp fest than only gets more repulsive with time.

Cheese

Not all cheese, but some pungent cheeses result in a spittle that has a longer half-life than Coronavirus particles.

There are many more foods that can cause this odiferous nightmare, but these are the ones that have been reported. Consider this a public service message.