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World's Most Unpopular Article AKA Thanksgiving Calorie Count

It's that time of year again when Texas finally starts to cool down and our appetites start to rev up, just in time for the holidays!

Gobble gobble y'all! Thanksgiving is just a few days away!

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But...have you ever wondered just how many calories we will consume during the one meal that rules them all? Ya, me either.


BUT I DID CLEARLY WRITE IN THE TITLE that this would be the 'World's Most Unpopular Article', so let's find out TOGETHER!


The table is set, the food is warm, and everyone waits for the turkey.

I can see it now, the table is perfectly set. Live garland and pretty linen folded napkins line the dark wood and porcelain place settings. Aromatic smells of apples, cinnamon, and baked dough have filled the air. Mounds of warm mashed potatoes with gravy, stuffing, ginger carrots and green beans with bacon are lined down the center of the spread. Cranberry sauce, hot rolls, and sweet potato ramekins fill the crevices in between.


Just one empty space on the table, left especially for the carved turkey, as Momma pulls the bird out of the oven.


This? This is heaven.


And it's only going to cost you four hours of running continuously at a moderate pace to burn off the average amount of calories most Americans consume during their Thanksgiving meal, and that's only if YOU didn't go back for seconds.


Told you.

Worlds. Most. UNPOPULAR. article.

I don't know about you but I have never ever in my entire life been able to (or had the desire to) run for four hours continually at a moderate pace.


But according to a 2019 article in USA Today which you can read in its entirety here, a four-hour run or a 30 MILE walk is what it will take to burn off the 3,000 PLUS calories most of us consume on Thanksgiving Day.


The article goes on to offer that 3,000 calories are the equivalent of 14 donuts or 6 Big Macs. Yum. 

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To give you a taste, see what I did there, of the average calorie count for a Thanksgiving meal, a cup of stuffing according to The Manual is about 350 calories.

That's just the one side dish.

A slice of pumpkin pie? 316 calories.


A 1/4 cup of cranberry sauce from the can? 100 calories.


Traditional green bean casserole, hold the bacon? 191 calories.


A cup of mashers?

Consumer Reports gives a breakdown in their holiday calorie count article if you want to eat a lighter version of a Thanksgiving meal.

But I warn you, their portion sizes are optimistic at best. A cup of their mashed potatoes adds 237 calories to the meal.

Scott Griessel

A cup of mashed potatoes is what we serve the babies at the kids' table!

Get outta here with that!


Eating only one cup of mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving is just ludicrous!


Sadly, about the least caloric thing on your Thanksgiving plate is the turkey itself.

An average serving of turkey is three ounces at about 171 calories.

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Well, now I AM HUNGRY!

Be sure to check back for our ' We're totally going to ruin your Christmas Cookie and Eggnog Binging' with our "Christmas Cookie and Eggnog Binging Calorie Count AKA The Second Most Unpopular Article In The World" coming too soon.


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