Running of The Bulls In Victoria AKA Epic 5K Fail
Maybe you've seen clips of Running of the Bulls in Spain? And if you're a sane individual you've probably thought to yourself, "Those people are crazy!" At least that's what I think every time I see a "Running of the Bulls" EPIC FAIL video.
I'm afraid of cows. There. I said it. So it might surprise you to note I married a certified cowboy and live amongst 300 acres of all kinds of critters; cows, bulls, horses, along with the occasional coyote, rabbit, quail, owl, and snakes. Snakes I'm okay with, but cows.. they freak me out.
When I was little I met a teenager who told me the story of how he was chased by a bull right through a barbed-wire fence. Through being the operative word here. He had scars from the barbed wire AND the bull.
Take a step back to January when I committed to training for a 5K. Being a New Years' resolution by March I was really starting to think about getting serious about getting started. Then came COVID. So here we are in May and this past Sunday totally motivated by my husband's commitment to run with me, we decided to tackle training by running from our gravel driveway to the end of the gravel road. It's a mile and a half there and back. A 5k is 3.1069 miles. Perfect.
The problem is that surrounding both sides of the gravel road is pure pasture land.
Pasture land where cows and bulls spend their time frolicking, eating, and plotting my death. And even though my husband rolled his eyes at me, I still left the house holding the biggest meanest looking walking stick I own. And I own a few! Our plan was to walk some and then run some, walk and run, walk and run, building our endurance.
And we got really close. Really close to being killed.
Almost to the end of the gravel road, completely EXPOSED TO THE COW ELEMENTS, my husband started to get "creative" and began weaving from one side of the road to the other, then walking backward, then jogging back to where I was, telling me to get a move on. I had already yelled not to go too far ahead because the cows had stopped to look at us. And I do NOT trust them.
Suddenly he yelled an expletive and started to hobble. Within a matter of seconds he was on the ground. Now let me tell you, I've known my husband to drive himself to the ER by himself after he got tied up under a bronco and was dragged around our round pen until he freed his foot from the ropes, also by himself. He had broken his back and ribs and still drove by himself. Years of training cutting horses have given him an exceptionally high pain tolerance, so I knew he was hurt. I was terrified. Calmly he told me, he had likely torn his ACL. I stood there frozen. This meant I would have to run back to the house and in order to save him and save time, I'd have to run THROUGH the pasture, facing the very animal I am terrified of.
Do you remember the scene in Jurassic Park as Ellie is running away from the velociraptor? This is how I imagined it to go.
Video courtesy of Jurrasic Park Fansite
Obviously I survived, just like Ellie, but running through the pasture with the walking stick raised high above my head, yelling out all kind of curses to the cows I thought to myself, if the roles were reversed and the bulls were watching the' Running of the Humans' would they think, "Those cows are crazy."
Thankfully my husband will make a full recovery and I can blow off training for a 5K for at least the next two months.
Ps. I've included a photo of one of the bulls in our pasture. He is a beast. I've only included the front half of his massive body as the second half included his undercarriage parts and its obscene. You're welcome.