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Top 5 Rodney Carrington Jokes [NSFW]

Rodney Carrington
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Rodney Carrington – actor, musician, husband, father and arguably one of the funniest adult oriented blue collar stand-up comedians and comic country musicians alive today –  is probably best known for his acoustic song called ‘A Letter to My Penis [Dear Penis].’  Rodney was also the star of the ABC television sitcom ‘Rodney,’ which was based on himself and his surrounding family and friends, and co-star of Toby Keith’s movie ‘Beer for My Horses.’

Rather than move to Los Angeles or Nashville, Rodney Carrington decided to stay living in Tulsa, Oklahoma with his wife and three boys.  Emersing himself in the everyday lifestyle that he so eloquently pokes fun at, Rodney has been able to maintain a close connection with his audience, which only adds to his popularity.

You can get a hefty dose of Rodney Carrington’s raunchy comedy in person when he performs live right here in Victoria on April 4th at Victoria Fine Arts Center, but in the meantime here are 5 of our favorite Rodney Carrington jokes to tide you over.

Top 5 Rodney Carrington Jokes:

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1.

I don’t understand the whole concept of a massage. You get a woman to rub all over every single part of your body except the one part you really want rubbed on.

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2.

How many you boys ever been drunk, went home with a fat girl?. Some of you out there are going, “Shut up! She’s sitting right next to me!”

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3.

We need porno for guys like me. $2.99, I don’t need the whole $12.99. Hell, I never get to the second scene. It’s always better. “Oh sh-t! I should of waited. She’s got bigger titties. Sh-t! There’s twins!”

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4.

If your wife says to you, “We need to talk,” horse sh-t. Start a fire in your house, it’s easier to deal with. Cause when your wife says to you, “We need to talk” it does not mean we need to talk, it means you need to sit there and listen while I tell you all the ways you’ve been fu–in’ up! That’s what that means. You ain’t never gonna hear a man say, “We need to talk,”…Unless…He caught a disease while he was out fishing…

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5.

They always say before you get married, take a good look at your wife’s mother, because that’s what she’s going to look like and act like. And if that’s the case, [singing] I’m fuuuuuuucked! Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la I’m f–ed.

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Watch Rodney Carrington perform stand-up comedy live at the Majestic in Dallas (NSFW):

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