Dumb Criminals

Man Hides in Suitcase in Order to Steal From Luggage
Getting a conviction is in the bag.
That may be what prosecutors in Spain are thinking after a man was arrested for theft by worming his body into a suitcase that was loaded onto an airport bus just so he could squeeze back out and steal from other luggage.
Man Beats Himself Up To Worm Out Of Drunken Driving Charge
Drinking can cloud your thinking, which may explain why a Farmington, Connecticut man came up with a pretty boneheaded idea.
Authorities say Daniel Vagnini beat himself up to prove to police he had been assaulted to get out of being charged with drunken driving last Saturday.
Mom Leaves Toddler Son In Car With Dead Body
If Jessica Ockman had designs on becoming a stage mother, it seems she planned on her little bundle of joy's first role to be in a new 'Weekend at Bernie's' movie.
Authorities in Louisiana's Jefferson Parish have booked the 33-year-old woman on various charges after she left her 20-month-old son in …
Walmart Shoplifter Throws a Fit After Getting Caught in the Act
Stay classy, Walmart shoppers!
Police in Bradenton, Florida arrested a woman last Wednesday after she went loco when a store official stopped her while she tried to leave with a cart of goods she hadn't purchased.
When initially confronted, 22-year-old Myra Mays tried to hit an employee with a bar sto…
Woman Wakes Up to Drunk Burglar Sleeping on Her Couch
We've all read our fair share of ridiculous criminal stories on the Internet. But waking up to find a burglar sleeping on your couch? That takes it to a whole new level.
Just ask the 63-year-old Long Neck, DE, resident who sauntered into her living room Tuesday morning to find a drunk burglar pa…
Man Steals Beer to Pick Up Women
A man in Jensen Beach, Florida got picked up by police before he picked up any chicks.
Twenty-year-old Anthony Hernandez admitted to police he stole an 18-pack of Bud Light from a 7-Eleven on Monday in the hopes he could use the beer to "score some women."
Man Fails to Make Purchase With $1 Million Bill
Who wants to be a fake millionaire?
The Minneapolis Star Tribune reports a man in Minneapolis tried to pay for a purchase at a CVS Monday with a $1 million bill. The only problem, of course, is a $1 million bill is about as real Santa Claus.
Man Calls 911 80 Times in Five Hours
Someone buy John Calvery a dictionary because he needs to learn the definition of "emergency."
According to cfnews13.com, police in Port Orange, Florida arrested the 57-year-old man last Friday after he called 911 about 80 times in a five-hour period. Authorities said he dialed in o…

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