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Dumb Criminals

Dumb Criminals

Bradley M. Furchak
Delaware State Police
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Woman Wakes Up to Drunk Burglar Sleeping on Her Couch

We've all read our fair share of ridiculous criminal stories on the Internet. But waking up to find a burglar sleeping on your couch? That takes it to a whole new level.

Just ask the 63-year-old Long Neck, DE, resident who sauntered into her living room Tuesday morning to find a drunk burglar passed out on her couch.

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Man Steals Beer to Pick Up Women
Jordan Strauss, Getty Images
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Man Steals Beer to Pick Up Women

A man in Jensen Beach, Florida got picked up by police before he picked up any chicks.

Twenty-year-old Anthony Hernandez admitted to police he stole an 18-pack of Bud Light from a 7-Eleven on Monday in the hopes he could use the beer to "score some women."

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Man Fails to Make Purchase With $1 Million Bill
Mr. TGT, flickr
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Man Fails to Make Purchase With $1 Million Bill

Who wants to be a fake millionaire?

The Minneapolis Star Tribune reports a man in Minneapolis tried to pay for a purchase at a CVS Monday with a $1 million bill. The only problem, of course, is a $1 million bill is about as real Santa Claus.

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Thieves Caught Stealing 30 Pounds of Frozen Chicken Nuggets From School
HealthHomeHappy.com, flickr
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Thieves Caught Stealing 30 Pounds of Frozen Chicken Nuggets From School

Kids may not like the food in their school lunchrooms, but two men in Key West, Florida sure do.

WTSP reports police recently arrested Lawrence Dixon and Carl Dudley Crabtree for stealing 30 pounds of frozen chicken nuggets from a high school cafeteria freezer.

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Man Calls 911 80 Times in Five Hours
cfnews13.com
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Man Calls 911 80 Times in Five Hours

Someone buy John Calvery a dictionary because he needs to learn the definition of "emergency."

According to cfnews13.com, police in Port Orange, Florida arrested the 57-year-old man last Friday after he called 911 about 80 times in a five-hour period. Authorities said he dialed in once every three minutes.

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Man Jailed for Mailing Tarantulas
Justin Sullivan/Getty Images
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Man Jailed for Mailing Tarantulas

Snail mail isn't for everyone. According to The Los Angeles Times, a German man has been sentenced to six months in prison after he pleaded guilty to shipping nearly 250 tarantulas by mail to the United States.

A federal prosecutor said 37-year-old Sven Koppler, who must also pay a $4,000 fine, is one of the "largest illegal importers of tarantulas."

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Boots
Lin Pernille Photography, Flickr
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Sears Employee Wears Boots He Stole From Store To Work

You'd have to think that a man who works at a Sears in Sarasota, Florida was given the boot after he was caught stealing from the store.

The Herald-Tribune reports the unidentified 18-year-old man stole a pair of boots from the store in the DeSoto Square Mall – and then wore them to work.

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Naked Man Throws Tennis Balls at Passing Cars
Horia Varlan, Flickr
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Naked Man Throws Tennis Balls at Passing Cars

A naked man and some tennis balls sure caused a lot of racket in Auckland, New Zealand on Sunday.

According to stuff.co.nz, police arrested the unidentified man for walking around in his birthday suit while tossing tennis balls at cars as they zipped by.

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Man Calls 911, Asks Police to Buy Him Beer
Scott Olson, Getty Images
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Man Calls 911, Asks Police to Buy Him Beer

Talk about a bizarre beer run.

The AP is reporting that Raymond Roberge of Bridgeport, CT, dialed 911 three times on Sunday. When authorities finally showed up to his house, the 65-year-old man gave them money "to go to the store and buy him some bee

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After Fourth Marijuana Arrest, Man Gets Life in Prison
Uriel Sinai/Getty Images
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After Fourth Marijuana Arrest, Man Gets Life in Prison

Getting caught green-handed with marijuana is never a good thing, but when it's your fourth arrest on the same charge, it's a very, very bad thing.

Cornell Hood II learned that truth the hard way after a jury in Louisiana sentenced the repeat offender to life in prison.

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Man Vandalizes Garage With Spray-Painted Marriage Proposal [VIDEO]
wptv
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Man Vandalizes Garage With Spray-Painted Marriage Proposal [VIDEO]

We've seen our fair share of wacky marriage proposals, but this one might take the cake.

UPI reports that New York-based couple Roger and Carolyn Mooyoung got the surprise of their life when they received a letter informing them that their Florida vacation home had been vandalized.

According to the letter, someone had spray painted a marriage proposal on their garage, to which the recipient, named Alison, responded to with a spray-painted "yes."

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Man Shortchanged in Crack Deal Calls 911 for Help
tanjila, flickr
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Man Shortchanged in Crack Deal Calls 911 for Help

These days, everyone's counting their pennies. So when 41-year-old Dexter White got ripped off in a crack cocaine deal this week, he called police to fix the problem.

The South Carolina man told police he had given $60 to a drug dealer for crack, but only received $20 worth of drugs.

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